Dépression Magique

Hey c'est le premier scénario que J'ai écrit... il y a déjà 5 ans...

EXT A cobblestone street in London - night

SUPERIMPOSE: London

A rain-drenched street, with  stores and a few pubs and clubs on either side. Muffled sound of people celebrating coming from the bars. Everything looks very European. A banner hung on two lamp posts on either side of the street reads "Happy St. Patrick's Day!", with generic stock images of leprechauns and clovers surrounding the words on the banner.

SUPERIMPOSE: London,

There are a few old buildings and old brick houses that line the street, and an old church in the background. No cars are parked on the street.

A car enters frame and drives away, driving on the right side of the street. A Canadian flag on its rear bumper. This is definitely not England.

SUPERIMPOSE: London, Ontario

BEN, a 35 year-old blonde skinny agent wearing a t-shirt and jeans, runs across the street, sometimes looking behind him. Someone's footsteps are slowly following him. A gun is raised. A shot is fired.

The man is hurt and stops running. He turns to a pub and stumbles in.

int the one-eyed imp irish pub - night

The man comes in. It is very crowded with young people celebrating St-Patrick's day. No one really notices him. He goes all the way to the back, towards the restrooms. He tries to open the men's room, marked "Lads".

Man and woman(O.s.)

It's busy!

He goes into the women's bathroom, marked "Lasses", and locks the door behind him.

INT apartment - night

Agent MARJOLAINE DUMAS, an attractive thirty-three year-old brunette wearing glasses, is sitting in a leather armchair in her London, Ontario apartment bedroom. The place is lit only by an IKEA footlamp next to the chair. She is reading "To Kill a Mockingbird." Opera is playing softly in the background.

A laptop screen lights up on a desk next to her. She goes to it and reads.

MARJOLAINE

What the heck?

A rotary phone rings next to the desk. She picks it up.

MARJOLAINE

Hello?

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB's women's bathroom - night

Ben is crouching in a bathroom stall, holding a smart phone to his ear. Women come in and out of the restroom, laughing and talking to each other. The man puts his hand on his other ear. He tries not to talk to loud.

Ben

Marjolaine! It's Ben.

int apartment - night

MARJOLAINE

Hey Benny, how are ya? How was Paris?

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB WOMEN'S BATHROOM - NIGHT

Ben

Paris was cold and damp and unfriendly, but the pastries, man I'm gonna miss those...Listen Marjo, I don't have much time. Did you get the file I just sent you?

INT APARTMENT - NIGH

Marjolaine looks at her laptop screen. The file is opened, showing lines and columns of incomprehensible gibberish.

MARJOLAINE

Yeah I got it. What's going on Ben? What's all those symbols? It's full of Arabic and Cyrillic but it makes no sense. I feel like I'm looking at the matrix's matrix. I mean the matrix program from the Matrix.

INT. NIGHT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB WOMEN'S BATHROOM

Ben

I'm sorry dear, I really can't explain all this.

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB - night

Henschman, a tall, dark, serious-looking assasin dressed in black, comes in. Drunk guys are trying to put their arms around him and offer him beer. Drunk girls are trying to kiss him. He pushes through them.

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB WOMEN'S BATHROOM - night

Ben grimaces with pain.

Ben

Listen Marjolaine, you can trust no one, but you need to get the file to someone you trust.

INT APARTMENT - night

Marjolaine pauses for a second, confused.

Marjolaine

Em, Ben, is this paradox night? you're sorta not giving me much to work with here. If I can trust no one, then how can I give it to someone I trust? And how do I know they will be able to do anything with it?

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB WOMEN'S BATHROOM - night

Henschamn comes into the restroom. Some women are a little offended, others start being flirtatious with him. Unaffected, he moves to the stalls. Ben sees his feet from under the stall door.

Ben

Listen, Marjo, you'll figure it out. You're the best rookie the service has had in a long time. You need to do this. Just don't give it to...

Henschman bursts the stall door open. The door hits Ben in the face.

INT APARTMENT - night

Marjolaine hears Ben screaming.

MARJOLAINE

Ben? Ben, what'S happening?

Then the sound of a gunshot on the other end. She jumps in surprise.

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB WOMEN'S BATHROOM - night

People are panicking in the bar. With his remaining strength, Ben drops his phone in the toilet and flushes. Henschman goes to catch it but Ben blocks him. Looking at the small phone going into the drain hole, Ben smiles, then turns to Henschman

Ben

Good Luck.

Ben sustains Henschman's angry look. The assassin's frown turns to a sadistic smile.

INT THE ONE-EYED IMP IRISH PUB - night

Four gun shots come out of the women's bathroom as drunk panicked people are stumbling toward the exit. Then another shot.

INT APARTMENT - night

Marjolaine sits, not moving, thinking. She looks at her computer screen. She then picks up a cell phone. PAULIE, a forty-something muscular man with a greying beard, answers on the other side.

Paulie (o.s.)

Marjo? What is it?

MARJOLAINE

Paulie, thank god you answered! I just, got a call from Ben and I think he's in trouble but he sent me a file and I can't read it but he wants me to give it to someone but I cant trust anyone and...

int paulie's car - night

Paulie is driving as he is talking on the phone to Marjolaine.

INTERCUT PAULIE'S CAR AND MARJOLAINE'S APARTMENT

Paulie

Come down babe, it's gonna be alright. Why don't we meet at the usual place and you can explain it to me?

MARJOLAINE

A...alright. I'll be there in 15 minutes. No make it 20.

Paulie

Good. Now take a deep breath, and everything's going to be fine. Be careful.

MARJOLAINE

Ok, thanks.

Paulie hangs up. He receives a text message and looks at it. It reads "Target down. Package is lost". Paulie smiles as he deletes the text.

PAULIE

Oh no, it's not lost.

Paulie speed-dials another number.

paulie

Yeah, you need to pick her up. Yeah, yeah, take care of her.

Paulie hangs up and sighs.

Paulie

What a waste...

Paulie keeps on driving away.

int a big legal office - night

Marjory, an overweight yet attractive 30 year-old blonde wearing a woman's business suit, is typing away at the reception desk. She looks at a pile of manuscript letters next to her. She looks at the clock on the wall that reads 7h30. People are leaving the office, cheerfully. Leprechauns and four leaf clovers decorate the office, more so on Marjory's desk. Carol, a brown-haired 24 year-old airhead of a female colleague passes by her. She looks at Marjory, with a surprised and slightly condescending expression

Carol

Marjory? You still here?

Marjory unsuccessfully tries to genuinely smile. She lifts her head from her computer screen and looks at Carol.

marjory

Hey Carol. Yep, still here.

Carol

What's that about, don't you have somewhere better to be?

Marjory

Well, you know me, type, type, type, that's what I like. Hey where are you guys going?

Carol

Bombay Bar in the old town. I wish you could come but, look at all that work you have to do.

Marjory

Em, ah, sure, I guess I should be finished with those around 4 AM, so I'll meet you after that. Hahaaaaaaaaaaa (her laugh turns into a sigh).

Carol's look becomes sad, in an inauthentic way.

carol

Oh you poor thing. (returning to her bubbly smile) Well, at least you have a job. And that's a lot for someone with your, weeelll...

Carol starts mumbling, pointing at and around Marjory.

Marjory

My what?

Carol

Well, have fun. I know I will.

Carol leaves, laughing with other colleagues. Marjory stays at her desk.

MArjory

(to herself)

Well, Carol, if I wanted to be where you are, all I'd have to do is take an executive dick or two in my mouth on a regular basis, and then I'd make four thousand more a year. But at least I'd have no dignity left. So, you know, that's a good fucking trade-off.

With a sad frown, Marjory looks at the pile of work, then at her computer, and starts typing away again.

INT APARTMENT - night

Marjolaine is in the apartment hallway that leads to the exit door. She takes a raincoat that was hanging on a coat rack close to the door. Then she starts walking towards the door. As she arrives to it and ges to turn the knob, she hesitates. She takes off the high heel shoes, and puts on a pair of old brown loafers lying beside the door, then she leaves.

INT apartment building staircase - night

Marjolaine goes down the staircase quickly. She opens the door to the outside.

ext London, Ontario street - night

Marjolaine comes out of the building. A man inside a parked taxi a little down the block sees her and starts driving toward her.

Marjolaine notices the cab and hails it. It stops. She gets in.

int taxi cab - night

As she sit on the cab backseat, Marjolaine looks nervously around her, then at the driver in front of her.

MARJOLAINE

Church Street Please.

EXT LONDON, ONTARIO STREET - NIGHT

The taxi drives away. The counter runs. Suddenly, the car turns into a dark alley.

INT TAXI CAB - NIGHT

Marjolaine looks back and around the taxi, eyes wide.

Marjolaine

Hey! Where are you going?! This isn't the right way! What the heck are you doing?!

She looks at the taxi license picture on the wall inside the cab. It is a photo of a Muslim woman named Alisha. The person driving is a white male.

MARJOLAINE

Hey you're not Alisha...

The driver, still looking in front, sticks a gun in Marjolaine's face.

Driver

Stay put.

ext dark back alley - night

Taxi stops at a high fence at the end of the alley. BILL, a fat balding man in a trench coat comes out of the shadows, approaches the door of the taxi and opens it. The taxi driver doesn't move. Marjolaine's turns to look at Bill. He opens the taxi's right back door.

bill

Bonjour Marjo.

Marjolaine looks disappointed.

Marjolaine

You're supposed to say "bonsoir" when it's dark.

homme

Still playing games, even when you know you've lost.

INT A BIG LEGAL OFFICE - night

Marjory is still typing, as more people are leaving the office. Mr. REDDING, a handsome yet very arrogant thrity-something executive walks by, joking with attractive assistants as they all leave.

Marjory

Mr. Redding?

He turns to Marjory, his smile fading away a little.

Redding

Melanie, right?

Marjory

Marjory, but that's OK. I can be Melanie.

Redding

Hey, you're doing great, keep making us look good!

He goes to leave.

MARJORY

Um, sir?

Redding tries to keep smiling, but is getting fidgety, annoyed.

redding

Yes?

She takes one of the letters on her desk and looks at it, pointing parts of it to Redding.

Marjory

Well, I couldn't help but notice, sir, in this memo to the partners that you want me to type, that you found some new evidence against our client, but, and I quote:"would rather it wasn't shown to the prosecution, but instead disposed of in a swift fashion."

Redding

Hm-hmmm...?

marjory

But, sir, isn't that kind of...

redding

Yes?

marjory

...not tottaly legal? This is, We are in a LEGAL practice aren't we?

The executive bursts into laughter. He leans toward Marjory.

redding

Oh Melissa... well, it's complicated. If I wanted to explain every detail to you, you'd have to take a law class, haha...

Marjory

Well, I did, actually, and according to Pearson v. Singulate Incorporated, there is a precedent on November 6, 1847...

Redding cuts her off as nicely as possible.

redding

Listen, my dear Francine.

MArjory

Marjory.

Redding

OK, I don't know how you remembered all that. Maybe it's that big head of yours, but there's a lot happening here which is way above your comprehension level. I wouldn't think that a secretary like you...

Marjory

Legal secretary

redding

Well, whatever. I think, if you are to stay a legal secretary with this firm, and I hope you will, sincerely. But if you want to stay (he leans over closer, smiling), you should stick to typing in the memos and leave the complicated stuff to the people in the expensive suits. You got me?

Marjory

Y...yes sir. Sorry, I'll just keep typing the memos, in a swift fashion.

redding

(solemnly, pointing at her)

Legal memos. Hahahaa!

Marjory

hahahaaa....

He walks away, making fun of what just happened with some of the other executives leaving. Marjory's laugh turns again into a sigh, and into sobing, as she is obviously left alone in the office. The front door closes. Silence, save for the ticking clock on the wall.

ext back alley - night

MArjolaine is still sitting in the taxi, looking at Bill, whit a mixture of defiance and fear in her eyes.

MARJOLAINE

Just get it over with, Billy boy.

Bill

You know I dont like that nickname. My pervert uncle called me Billy boy, 'til I pushed him from the second story window of the family house. Then he couldn't even speak. Lost the use of his jaw.

marjolaine

C'est tellement touchant que j'ai envie de pleurer. (This is so touching I want to cry)

Bill take out a gun from his coat pocket.

bill

Well, no one's gonna cry over you honey.

MARJOLAINE

Or over you, for that matter.

Marjolaine hits the heel of her shoe on the floor of the cab, pointing her toes at Bill. A dart comes out of the point of the shoe and lodges in Bill's neck. Bill moves backward and puts a hand on his neck as he shoots his gun. The bullet passes right by Marjolaine's head and hits the taxi driver's. The driver falls on the steering wheel, sounding the horn. Bill Feels the effect of the paralysing poison in the dart, and falls to the ground, dropping his gun. Marjolaine gets out of the cab, takes out gloves from her coat pocket, puts them on and then picks up Bill's gun, with a slightly disgusted look.

INT A BIG LEGAL OFFICE - night

Marjory is still typing. She looks again at the clock, then at the pile of work.

Marjory

Fuck it.

She grabs her coat and leaves.

EXT BACK ALLEY - night

MARJOLAINE

(pointant le pistolet sur la poitrine de Bill )

You're so old school Billy Boy. Shooting in a dark alley? What is this, The Godfather?

Bill

Was that cyanide in your shoe?

MARJOLAINE

Yep.

bill

(sluring a little)

You were always obsessed with the James Bond shit. I hate that.

Marjolaine

(souriant un peu sadiquement)

Haters will hate, and James Bond still comes out on top with perfect hair.

bill

Connery wore a toupet in every film. You're in way over your head, my dear bitch.

MARJOLAINE

I'll miss your poetry.

Bill rolls his eyes and grunts before he stops breathing. Marjolaine drops the gun, disgusted. Elle saisit la valise restée dans le taxi, et se dirige rapidement vers la rue.

ext. night London, Ontario street

Marjolaine comes out of the back alley, looking around. At the same time, Marjory is driving on that street, looking for the bar, singing along to "Bust a Move" by Young MC, playing on her car radio. Marjolaine jumps in front of the car and Marjory breaks, startled.

MArjory

Hey what the fuck are you doing, you moron, (se points at the sidewalk) the walking's done over there!

MARJOLAINE

Secret service, I need this car.

MArjory

What?! Oh no no no no, I'm not getting out of this car. It's my car and I dont see any ID here.

Marjolaine takes her own pistol out, shaking as she points it at Marjory.

MARJOLAINE

Get out of the vehicle now miss, please.

marjory

Holy shit! What the!? Your supervisor will here about this.

She begrudgingly gets out of the car.

MARJOLAINE

Open the trunk.

MARJORY

What?! Why?!

MARJOLAINE

I'll ask the questions here miss.

MARJORY

(after a pause)

What's that even supposed to mean?

MARJOLAINE

(caugt of guard)

...Just open the trunk, ma'm.

Marjory reluctantly opens it. Marjolaine makes a sign to Marjory to move towards the trunk.

MARJOLAINE

Come on, bust a move.

marojry

Shut up.

They walk to the trunk, Marjory frustratingly grimacing and grunting.

MARJOLAINE

Now get in.

Marjory

What? You MUST be fucking joking! I've never seen such poor judgment from law enforcement, and that's, saying something.

MARJOLAINE

You said you didn't want to leave the car. It's safer in there.

marjory

OMG, are you mentally challenged? Is this a special program from the government? No way... You might as well shoot me.

MARJOLAINE

I'm not gonna shoot you.

MARJOry

(satisfied)

Ha!

From her other pocket, Marjolaine takes out a taser. She tases marjory, who falls in the trunk, unconscious.

MARJOLAINE

Thank you for complying.

EXT. church street

The car arrives at the rendez-vous point. Marjolaine comes out of the car. As she goes around it, Marjory knocks from inside the trunk

MARJOLAINE

It wont be long miss. As soon as we are done, I'll take you back where I fond you and let you out of the car. 'til then please keep quiet.

Marjory mumbles insults fron inside the car. Marjolaine knocks with her gun on the trunk.

MARJOLAINE

Hey! I still have a gun you know!

MARJORY

(From inside the trunk)

Alright alright, you freaking lunatic!

Marjolaine gets closer to the church, and stops under a tree close to the church wall. She takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up. She starts choking on the smoke. She throws the cigarette to the floor and puts it out, disgusted again. Paulie comes out from the corner of the church wall.

paulie

You should be vaping instead.

Marjolaine

The signal's supposed to be that I light a cigarette. I don't wanna send a mixed message. Plus, under the circumstances, I'm actually thinking of picking up smoking.

paulie

Relax, Marjo. Nobody followed you?

MARJOLAINE

Not since I took the new car. How the hell did Bill know where I was? Isn't supposed to be a safehouse!

paulie

Bill was there? Damn! That must've been unpleasant. Is he, gone?

MARJOLAINE

Yes

paulie

But you have the file that Ben sent you, right?

MARJOLAINE

Yes...?

paulie

Ok, good, that's all that matters right now. Let me see it and I'll see what I can do about it.

Marjolaine is starting to look suspicious.

MARJOLAINE

Well, you see, Paulie, there's just one problem. Ben told me not to trust anyone. And you're the only one I told about this. And suddenly, Bill knows where I am, and tries to kill me? That's a weird coincidence.

paulie

You're getting paranoid, Marjo. You know Bill has been a rogue agent for more than 6 mohts. That's why you got promoted to the field.

Marjolaine

I know, thanks for that. But see, I trust Ben's judgment. He's, was a realy good agent, and also a good friend. So, after I talked to you, I took a minute to try to decrypt the parts that I could figure out.

Paulie becomes pale and his eyes widen.

PAULIE

So...what did you figure out.

MARJOLAINE

Your name was actually in the file.

paulie

(worried)

What do you mean?

Marjolaine takes out her small handgun from her coat pocket.

MARJOLAINE

(pointing her gun at Paulie)

You're the one who had this file made and encrypted. What's happening, Paul? What's on the file?

Paulie

Nothing that concerns you, love.

MARJOLAINE

Oh I think it concerns me a great deal. that's why I'm gonna get it to another one of my good friends, a really talented hacker you may know.

paulie

You mean, you mean your guy? I, I thought he was dead.

MARJOLAINE

Nah, just hiding. Well, sorta. Anyway, you know what? We're just gonna wait quietly for the police to come, and after they arrest you, we're all gonna have a real nice chat in front of the director.

Paul sourit narquoisement

Paulie

Bravo, no really. You're even more resourceful than I thought. And that's really a shame, 'cause now I need to tie up the loose ends. Oh and you know that weapon? Remember how I'm the one who gave it to you? I know you dont like firearms. You're more of a samouraï, which is nice. Mais ça ne te servira pas maintenant.(but now it'll be of no use to you)

Paul sort à son tour une arme, plus grosse, de son holster.

MARJOLAINE

What the heck do you think you're doing Paulie? Don't move or I swear I'll shoot!

Paul kee taing out his gun. Marolaine tries to shoot him, but Paul remains standing. Marjolaine is confused. Paul is still smiling.

Paulie

Because you see, I decided to put blanks in the charger, since you weren't gonna shoot it anyway. I'm so happy I hired you right now...

Paulie points his gun at Marjolaine.

Paul

(smiling)

My turn.

Suddenly the trunk of Marory's car opens and Marjory bursts out of it gasping for air. Paulie turns around. Marjolaine, seizes that opportunity to jump on Paulie and disarm him. They Fight, and Marjolaine manages to control Paul. Unfortunately, police sirens are arriving on the scene which makes Marjolaine lower her guard for a ssecond, allowing paul to hit her and start running away as she falls to the floor.

Paulie

On va se revoir bientôt!(I'll see you soon)

Marjolaine gets back up, shaken. She sees Paul go and the police cars arrive and surround her. Marjory points her finger at her, screaming at the police.

Marjory

(hysterically)

That's her! That's the crazy bitch who locked me in the trunk! Arrest her now! NOOOW!

Marjolaine raises her arms and lets the police arrest her.

INT. nuit police station

Marjolaine is sitting at a desk, in front of a police officer, who looks at her sporadically, raising his eyes from his forms and keboard.

officier

(trying to pronounce her name right)

Marjoolainee. Are you trying to tell me you dont have a last name?

marjolaine

(presque exaspérée)

Yes, but I'm not divulging that tonight. You saw my credentials, now let me go. I needed the car, and now I need to leave.

officier

Just a little minute. If the woman presses charges, we dont have a choice but to keep you in. Secret service or not.

MARJOLAINE

Is she pressing charges?

Marjolaine looks, a little furter, at Marjory. She is filling a deposition at another desk.

MARJOLAINE

(parlant fort)

Hey, lady, I dont mean to be meen, but are you pressing charges? It's just that I have to go now.

MArjory

My name is Marjory, and you better remember it, because you're gonna hear it a lot in court, since yeah, I think I'm pressing charges, lady.

MARJOLAINE

You're kidding me! That's funny, my name is Marjolaine, it's basically the same but in French! Haha (à l'officier). Sir, is it ok with you if I just go talk to her for a minute? I think I can convince her not to press charges, and since the clock on the wall says it's 12:30 and the condition of your outfit suggests that you've been working for a while today, and that her not pressing charges would mean less paper work for you, I think it's in your best interest.

L'officier la regarde de travers, puis se résigne.

officier

All right, you've got five minutes

MARJOLAINE

That's more than enough.

Marjolaine gets up and walks toward the desk where Marjory is. MArjory lifts her eyes from the form and sees the other woman coming to her. She gets up quickly, and takes a few steps back, eyes widening.

Marjory

(Menacing, but without raising her voice)

You stay away from me you crazy person. We're in a police station and it's full of witnesses...

MARJOLAINE

Du calme, du calme, tout va bien. (Calm down, calm down, everything's fine)(whispering, very close to Marjory). You know that guy that you scared off by bursting out of the trunk? By the way bravo for being able to do that, I thought it was reserved fo us trained professionals. So this guy, who used to be my friend, partner and lover, I discovered recently that he is actually a criminal mastermind behind some potentially very bad things. Now, that guy, named Paulie, he saw your face, and he probably saw your licence plate, and he now knows where you live. And now that your life is linked to his, he's probably waiting in your home right now. You dont have kids do you?

MARJORY

(mumbling)

N...no

MARJOLAINE

Good. But probably a dog or two right?

MARJORY

T...two

MARJOLAINE

Yeah, I figured. That car smelled awful by the way. So, he is probably there and he killed your dogs so they wouldn't make any noise, and he is now waiting there for you to come back so he can kill you. Because, as of now, you are a loose end to him. And unfortunately, no one else but me knows that he exists.

marjory

(Voice trembling)

O...hh...my God

MARJOLAINE

(Intense)

Indeed. (suddenly very light hearted) So! If you want me to help you in any way, I can't really be in a cell tonight, can I?

MARJORY

R...right

Marjory se tourne vers l'officier qui l'aidait à remplir son formulaire.

Marjory

(voix plus stable)

Sir, I have decided not to press charges.

ext. nuit devant la station de police

MARJOLAINE

So, let'S go get that bastard.

Marjory

Listen lady, I don't know who you are or whatever, but I dont like being intimidated like that. I only didn't press charges because you said that bastard Paulie guy killed my dogs. But otherwise, after we've been to my house and I've made sure that you are lying, I'm coming back here and also acusing you of threatening me and everything else I can find in the book, and I'm a legal secretary, so boom!

Marjolaine

Ok, you got me, if all of us and your dogs are OK by the end of the night, and you still want to sue me once this is over, fine.

Marjolaine opens the door on the driver's side. Marjory looks at her, baffled.

MARJORY

Are you kiding me?! This is my fucking car!

Marjolaine realizes her mistake. And goes around to the passenger side.

MARJOLAINE

(a little shocked by all that swearing)

Sorry, my bad. No need to swear like that.

Marjolaine goes around to the passenger side.

marjory

(calmly)

I'll swear as much as I fucking want.

They get in the car.

ext night a suburb of London, Ontario

The car pulls up in front of a plain bungalow, still over-decorated with christmas lights, even a Christmas fountain with a Mankenpis Santa in front.  In front of the bugalow is a two-story house for sale. Marjolaine looks at the house, and sighs.

MARJOLAINE

Lady, it's March!

MARJORY

Hey, I like the joliness, ok?

The two women get out of the car. Two dogs are on the porche, not moving.

MArjory

(worried)

Thelma? Louise?!

Slowly, the dogs raise their heads, painfuly get up and start staggering towards Marjory. She smiles.

marjory

O my God, babies, you're alright. Come here let me kiss you. What are you doing out? Did Carl forget to lock the door again?

The dogs are taking a real long time, walking very slowly.

Marjory

Why you walking so slowly girls? Come here!

The dogs get to Marjory as she kneels and embrasses them, and they lick her face. Marjory then turns to Marjolaine.

Marjory

You are so sued!

She walks towards the door with the dogs, still talking.

MArjory

I knew you were fucking lying. You damn liar. I'm going to sue you 'til your grand kids are poor! You manipulative...

As she walks and talks, Marjolaine starts sniffing the air, and her eyes get bigger.

MARJOLAINE

(screaming)

No don't open the...

As Marjory opens the door, it riggers a mechanism that creates a sparkle and lights the gas that was leaking in th house. The house explodes as Marjolaine jumps over the car. Marjory and the dogs are propelled in the air into the Santa fountain. Time stops. Then Marjolaine's head comes out from behind the car.

MARJOLAINE

Marjory?

Beat. Marjory bursts out of the fountain, gasping for air, and holding the two dogs who are trying to swim.

Marjory

Holy,shit! Holy shit what the fuck?!

Marjolaine goes to Marjory, helps her get out of the fountain.

Marjory

What the fuck happened?

MARJOLAINE

Fake gas leak. He was trying to make it look like an accident.

Marjory

He? You mean your bastard boyfriend...

MARJOLAINE

Ex-boyfriend

Marjory

Whatever! He tried to blow me up. And my house? And my babies?

MARJOLAINE

Yes. Now you believe me? I'm glad that helped your trust issues.

Marjory

Well, he's in trouble now. I'm not gonna sue you, but I'm god damn right gonna sue that piece of shit impotent son of a whore.

MARJOLAINE

Actually, he was a marvelous lover. Plus his mother was a very respectable woman.

MARJORY

Well, I still get to call him a piece of shit. And I still get to sue him.

MARJOLAINE

Well, that's the least of your concerns right now.

Marjolaine notices the neighbors gathering around the fire. Carl, a friendly, geeky looking neighbor who has a thing for Marjory, approaches.

Carl

Hey Marjory, are you OK? What the hell happened?

MARJORY

(neglectingly)

Hi Carl. Everything's fine.

carl

A...are you sure? Youre blouse is  burned. We can see your, am, eh. So how are the dogs?

MARJOLAINE

(getting impatient)

We need to leave. Anyone here could be one of his agents. Give me your keys.

int. house across the burining house

A scope aims at Marjory.

EXT. Night in front of the burning house

Marjory

Leaving? Oh no, I'm waiting for the cops, my friend. You want the keys, take them and go (she drops the keys). Damn!

Marjory bends to pick up the keys as a bullet passes above here and hits th Manekenpis Santa, making it fall. Marjory lifts her head, eyes wide open, as Marjolaine turns around to look.

MArjory

What the fuck was that?!

MARJOLAINE

Get down!

Marjory obeys. SO does Carl, both of them getting behind the cars. The crowd gathering around the burning house panics and disperses. Marjolaine jumps again to the other side of the car, landing on Carl's back.

Neighbor

Hey! This spot's taken!

She pushes the neigbor out of her way, looks around and sees a hubcap on the ground. She picks it up. The sniper shoots at the car, to try to make it explode.

Marjolaine

That jerk is trying to shoot the tank.

Marjory looks carefully and sees an opened window on the second floor.

MARJORY

He's in there!

Marjolaine aims with the hubcap, then changes her mind and raises her arm a little. She shoots the hubcap at the window pane above the sniper.

INT. night HOUSE ACROSS OF THE BURINING HOUSE

Shards of glass explode into the sniper's face. He gets up to remove the shards from his face. Walking backwards, he trips on his sniper gun.

Sniper

Aaah! Shit!

EXT. NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BURNING house

The sniper drops, breaking the window and falling on the veranda roof, then sliding down and falling in the bushes. Marjory, Marjolaine and Carl look at the shrubs, waiting. We can hear police and fire sirens in the background. Suddenly, the sniper gets back up, startling the two women.

Marjolaine

(First softly, then louder)

Oh my god. OH MY GOD' GET IN THE CAR!

Marjory throws the keys at Marjolaine and they both get in the car, as the Carl watches them go, baffled.

Neighbor

OK, so I guess I'll see you later? I'll just tell the police you had an emergency, right?

int. night Car

The two women are silent, Marjory's eyes are as big as saucers. Beat.

Marjory

OK, what, the fuck!?

Marjolaine

What do you mean?

MARJORY

I mean what the fuck everything! What the fuck my house exploded! What the fuck I was shot at! What the fuck I'm still here with you... What the fuck my, house!! Explodeeeeed!

MARJOLAINE

Calm down for just a minute. Apparently, the information I have is very important to someone.

Marjory

Your fucking hairy-back boyfriend?

MARJOLAINE

His pilosity was just fine. He has a very sexy beard, but that's about it.

MARJORY

Whatever.

MARJOLAINE

So, yeah, he usually likes to work alone. But that terminator guy, I never met him. So Paul must be working for someone bigger. What the hell has he got himself into?

Marjory slowly turns her head towards Marjolaine. A second passes.

MARJOLAINE

What?

Marjory

What?! WHAT?! You, fucking, care for his, well-being? Tha Fuck?

MARJOLAINE

We were very close.

MARJORY

Let me out.

Marjolaine

Calm down

MArjory

Let me out or I open the door right here.

Marjolaine and Marjory lock and unlock the doors several times.

Marjolaine

Wait ok, wait. Just let me see this guy. Stay with me, I'm trying to protect you. If you do this, after that you can do whatever you want. Go to the police, though I doubt they will listen, or help you. You are now someone who fled the scene of a crime.

Marjory looks at Marjolaine, incredulous.

Marjory

Is this how you make friend? By entangling them? Cause this is entanglement.

MARJOLAINE

How do you mean?

Marjory

And is that the only way you answer questions? How do you mean? I could've pressed charges, but noooo, I had to follow Jane Bond on her fucking adventures!

Marjolaine

I'm sorry that I made you do all that.

A beat.

Marjory

(pouting)

Well you should be.

They continue the ride in silence.

INt. BOsse's mansion/Lair

The Boss is playing pool by himself, while watching the news about the explosion, as Paulie comes in, led by a servant.

Boss

(raising his head from his game, then smiling)

Paul! My friend, how the hell are ya?

Paulie

(confused, but somewhat reassured)

Em, good? And how are you sir?

boss

Well, I'm glad you asked.

He makes a sign for the servant to leave and close the study doors, then turns of the sound of the screen. Paul is nonchalantly taking a bibelot and looking at it from different angles

Paul

That's a really nice piece. Where did you get...?

Boss throws a cue ball at Paul's head

Boss

Get your fucking hands off of that! You wanna know how I feel?! How I FEEEL?! Did you see the freaking news you moron?

Paul

Hey, that part was not my fault.

Boss

Not your fucking fault you little piece of incompetent weasel shit! Are you retarded?

Paul

Ehm, that is offensive, and I have an above average IQ, not Scorpio high but I'm quite capable of...

boss

(very fast)

I dont care about your fucking IQ!

Paul stops talking.

boss

First, you dont get back the files. Second, you let her live. And third...

Paul

I'm not sure there's a third there boss. I only did two things wrong. Then you sent your silly goon instead of me, and he gets this shit all over the news.

Boss

(trying to remain calm)

Third, I do not like your attitude. It is not very henchman-like.

Paul

Hey, boss, I'm an independent contractor, not a henchman. You hired me for my expertise and my impeccable track record.

The boos goes to a buffet and gets himself a drink.

Boss

Well, let me put it this way. As an independent contractor, I can terminate your contract whenever I want. And I am not one for a three strikes you're out policy.

Paul

You mean you tolerate more than three strikes?

Boss

What? No! The next strike you're out!

Paul

Cause, you know how I said earlier that I only did two things wrong. Well, it seems to me that if the next strike I'm out, then that means three strikes. I mean, from my perspective.

Boss

Get out.

paul

Dont you think...

boss

(as he pushes Paul toward the doors)

Get out and dont come back until you have either gotten those files or died trying!!

Boss closes the doors in Paul's face. He turns around, beet red, finishes his drink and goes to get his cue ball back. He stops in front of his mother's portrait and looks at her.

boss

Don't you think I know? No one ever gives it any effort anymore. No one reaaaly wants to rule the world. They're just sooo busy chat snapping their balls or something. (beat as he listens to his mother) Yes, yes, I'm sorry I said the B word mother. But it makes me so angry when they don't follow through. I was so hopeful about this one. He's like the son I wish I had.

He picks up the cue ball and goes back to playing pool, turning the sound of the screen back on.

ext. taki's house

The car pulls up in front of a trailer, inside a trailer park. Marjolaine and Marjory get out of the car and start walking down the little path to the door of the trailer.

Marjory

Is this where they filmed Trailer Park Boys?

MARJOLAINE

Maybe the Christmas one. Now, we're going to see my friend Taki. If anyone's gonna...

MARJORY

(stops walking)

Wait, his name is Tacky?

Marjolaine

He's Japanese, it's spelled with a K and an I. And he really doesn't appreciate the puns. But he's the best computer slash decryptor slash hacker I know. He helped me a lot before. And two years ago, when criminals and governments both were trying to get to him, I arranged for him to fake his death. He's ben living here ever since.

MArjory

That's a charming place to end your days.

MARJOLAINE

Better than simply getting a bullet through your head. Oh, I just have to let you know. He can be a little, expressive.

Marjory

What do you mean?

The trailer door opens wide. Taki, wearing nothing but a flowery robe (his penis litterally sometimes flashes from under it) and emerald green flip flops, emerges, holding a bottle of cheap tequila.

Taki

Marjolaaaaaaainnneeey! My wonderful friend! How the heck are youuuuu! You look amazing. And who's your pretty friend? You're so lucky I was just making bananaritaaaaaas!

Marjolaine

Hi Taki, this is Marjory.

Taki

Whaaaaaat? Marjory and marjolaine? That is soo precious! But dont stay on the porch, come on in!

Taki turns to go back in the trailer. Marjolaine turns to Marjory.

Marjory

(silently, to Marjolaine, teasing)

Porche...

int. night taki's trailer

A blender starts running. Taki is making bananaritas for everyone. He has changed into a hawaiian shirt and pink flashy bermudas. He stops the blender and starts pouring. Regular glasses for the girls, and a very large glass for himselff.

taki

(handing a glass to Marjory)

I have to warn you, they're pretty strong.

marjory

(taking the glass)

Oh I dont mind strong.

She takes a sip and makes a disgusted face.

Marjory

Holy shit! That's not Cuervo!

taki

Nope, that's my homemade toilet tequila. I import the agave leaves from Tijuana, so I feel like I'm always on spring breaaaak!

He offers a glass to Marjolaine, she refuses.

Marjolaine

Listen, Taki, we dont have much time. I have a huge encrypted file. I managed do decode some of it, but the rest is just too complex for my level, and...

taki

Oooh, spy stuff, I was missing those little adventures of ours. Theese days all I do is expose pedophiles and hack the changing room cams at the Pentagon. Hmmm, those sweaty lieutenants, hmmm. OK Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Marjolaine hands Taki a flash drive that looks like a lipstick case.

Taki

Nice touch.

He puts it into his laptop and starts working on  decryption.

Taki

Wow, that's pretty clever encryption. I only know a couple of guys who can do it. Me included, of course.

Marjory

(intrigued)

Who's the other guy?

taki

Oh it's a very intriguing man called "The Mole."

marjory

The mole?

taki

No the mole, like the sauce. I've only encountered him online, and I'm assuming he's latino, but you know it could all be a big, misdirection... ah, here we are, there's your fi...(silently flabbergasted) OMFG, with a capital F...

Marjolaine

What is it?

taki

Did you know about this?

Marjolaine looks at the file. It seems to contain names and locations of people, as well as mission statements and pictures.

Marjory

What? Who are these people?

Marjolaine

SCRS, CIA, MOSSAD, MI6 and a bunch of other deep undercover agents from pretty much every secret service around the globe.

Silence. Marjory is speechless.

Marjory

(after a beat)

Soooooooo....?

MArjolaine

So no one is supposed to know who they are because if someone did, they would be exposed to the people they are spying on.

Silence, Marjory is stll speechless.

Marjory

(after another beat)

Aaaaaaaaand...?

MARJOLAINE

And most certainly every last one of them would be killed!

Silence. Marjory looks at Marjolaine and Taki, baffled.

taki and marjolaine

AND THAT'S BAD!

Marjory

(snapping out of it)

Oh, OK, cause they're the good guys right?

MARJOLAINE

(embarrassed)

Well, em, not, all of them, and not all the time.

Marjory

OK, I'm confused.

TAKI

(getting up, still smiling)

Well, you see dear, every country in the world...

Taki's really big glass explodes in his hands. He suddenly stops smiling. He looks and puts his hand at his belly, where there is blood.

TAKI

(livid)

Not nice

He falls to the floor.

ext, night outside the trailer

Henschman puts his handgun down, and picks up a really big machine gun.

INT. NIGHT TAKI'S TRAILER

Marjolaine takes the flash drive and jumps on Marjory, pushing her to the floor of the trailer.

MARJOLAINE

Get down!

MArjory

Whoah!

They both fall down as bullets start piercing through the walls and flying around the trailer. One hits the blender, which explodes.

TAKI

(losing breath)

Hey, that's a Vitamix...

Marjolaine looks around.

MARJOLAINE

We have to find a way out!

TAKI

(softly)

Hey dear...

He lifts the corner of a carpet on the floor,reveiling a trap door.

TAKI

(smiling)

It's the trap door escape pod model

MARJOLAINE

(smiling)

I love you Taki...

Marjory mouthes "me too" and makes a heart with her hands at the man. Taki lifts the trap door and all three slip through as the bullets finish flying around.

ext. night under taki's trailer

All three fall on the ground, grunting. Marjory looks through the fence surrounding the lower part of the trailer.

MARJOLAINE

He's too close to our car, we'll never get there.

TAKI

(trying to stay fabulous, while obviously in great pain)

Well, to the takimobile then!

EXT. NIGHT OUTSIDE THE TRAILEr

Henschman is out of bullets. He feels someone in another trailer is peeking through their window to see what is happening. He gives a deadly look and the person shuts their blinds immediatly. He then looks at Taki's trailer, which is falling apart. He procedes to go in.

INT. NIGHT TAKI'S TRAILER

Henschman comes in to find nobody in the desctroyed trailer. He hears a car starting and looks through the window.

EXT. NIGHT OUTSIDE THE TRAILER

Marjory, Taki and Marjolaine get away in the car. All three of them give the man the finger as they pass by the trailer. Henschman comes out of the trailer, and tries to shoot at the car, shattering the back window, which doesn't hurt anyone in the car, but stops them celebrating for a minute. Henschman's gun blocks.

Henschman

Arrh, fucking useless handgun!

He throws it on the floor and the gun shoots again, hitting his knee, making him fall a few feet from the door of the trailer, hitting his head on a picnic table. The same person who was peeking through their window earlier, plus another one, are now looking again, laughing. As he gets back up, (in the same fashion as before), Henschman gives another deadly look, and the peekers stop laghing and close the blinds.

int. night taki's car

Taki is bleeding. Marjory is holding him as Marjolaine drives very fast on the highway.

TAKI

Oh my, I think that's it for me. Goodbye, splendid world.

Marjolaine

OK Taki, tone down the melodrama for a second. You are not going to die. We are going to get you to a hospital.

marjory

Yeah man, there's no way a wonderful person like you dies in my arms.

TAKI

The closest hospitl is 45 minutes away, I dont think I will hold that long. Unless...

MARJOLAINE and Marjory

Unless what?

TAKI

Marjo?

Marjory

(hopeful)

Yes Taki?

TAKI

No, the other Marjo.

MARJOLAINE

Yes Taki, what can I do?

TAKI

Look into the glove compartment.

MARJOLAINE

OK, all I see is a bottle of kentucky bourbon and a knitting kit... (her face changes) but we can't. I can't stop, he'll be after us

TAKI

Let her do it.

Marjory doesn't understand.

MArjory

Do what?

MARJOLAINE

Non, non, y en est pas question! No way Taki, she doesn't know what to do...

Marjory

Hey, em, could you just let me in on what you think I can and can't do? Just, you know, since I'm right fucking here.

TAKI

You swear a lot. I like that.

MArjory

Thanks, you're very nice.

MARJOLAINE

(exasperated)

Marjory, he wants you to remove the bullet and sow the wound back up.

Marjory

(jokingly)

Whaaaaaaa.....?

TAKI

I'm sure you can do it.

Marjory

Haha, you're such a crazy kidder you little bundle of fabulous laughing ridiculousness.

TAKI

Look, Marge.

MArjory

Dont call me that.

MARJOLAINE

Yeah don't call her that.

TAKI

Listen! I dont think the bullet hit any major organ or artery, or else I'd already be dead, but if you dont do it, I'll be dead before we reach the hospital. So you have to do it.

MArjory

How can you know all these things? You're not a doctor.

Marjolaine

Actually, he used to be a surgeon.

Taki

Yeah, that's a long story, and I dont like to talk about my past, but since you asked, I was fourthteen and my role model was Doogie Howser, so I thought I'd...

Taki loses consciousness

Marjolaine

Holy crap! Marjory come take the wheel, I,ll sow him up.

MArjory

What? No! You said the bad guy will be after us. I'll do it.

Marjolaine

I'm sorry but I'm not gonna leave the life of my best friend in the arms of a secretary.

Marjory looks up. She is suddenly very serious.

MARJORY

(quietly)

Legal, secretary.

Marjolaine sees the conviction in her eyes, hesitates a second and begrudgingly hands her the bottle and the sowing kit.

int. night hospital

Taki is being pushed on a stretcher through the doors of the hospital's emergency ward, surrounded by a nurse, Marjory and Marjolaine.

Nurse

Quick, this man has lost a lot of blood!

A doctor approaches the bed. He lifts Taki's Hawaiian shirt.

Doctor

(looking dreadful)

Who the hell sowed him up?!

Marjory and Marjolain hesitate and look around for a little while. Finally, Marjolaine looks angrily at Marjory, who slowly raises her hand.

Doctor

(suddenly very pleased)

That's damn fine work!

They take Taki away to an operating room. Majory who has stayed a little behind Marjolaine, starts smiling as she looks at her, as if expecting something. Marjolaine turns around, frustrated, and then reluctently smiles. She walks off frame. Marjory is satisfied.

ext. hospital

Estblishing shot of a large city hospital

int. hospital hallway

Marjolaine and Marjory are sitting on plastic chairs, each holding an ice pack on a part of their body. Police are talking close to them. A policeman approaches.

POliceman

(turning to Marjolaine)

And you say you work for the secret service?

MARJOLAINE

Yes.

POLICEMAN

(turning to Marjory)

And you?

MArjory

Johnson, Parker, Lacey, Fornsworth, Redding and Love, LLP.

policeman

oooookaaaaay...I'm going to have to verify this.

He goes into a small office. The two women are left alone.

MARJOLAINE

(turning to Marjory after a beat)

Thank you, for saving my friend's life. He wouldn't have made it without you.

Marjory looks at Marjolaine, apparently waiting for something.

MARJOLAINE

And obviously, I can leave you here with the police, you can go back to your normal life after you've talked to them.

Marjory is still not talking, waiting for Marjolaine to say something. A beat.

MARJOLAINE

(conceeding)

And...I'm sorry I doubted your abilities.

Marjory stops looking at Marjolaine.

MARJORY

Apolgy accepted.

MARJOLAINE

Well, I'm glad you're satisfied.

Marjory

Oh, and by the way, you're stuck with me. There's no way I'm gonna let that poor geisha suffer and do nothing about it.

MARJOLAINE

But, I dont want to doubt you again, at all, and I must admit I kinda need you, since you're the only person I can trust right now. But, are you sure you can handle what may come?

Marjory

Are you kidding? I'm actually enjoying this. It's more fun than my trip to Paris in 2002.

Suddenly, Marjolaine understands something.

Marjolaine

Oh, my dear uncertainty of the reason for the universe. Marjory, you're a genius!

Marjory

I am? I mean, I am! Of course

MARJOLAINE

We have to leave for Paris, right now!

MArjory

Paris?! But, what about the police?

MARJOLAINE

(slowly, between her teeth)

Fuck the police.

Marjory

(in shock and impressed)

Attagirl...

The policeman comes out of the office to find the seats empty.

POLICEMAN

(loking at a file)

Miss, I just have a few questions about the gunshot...

ext. NIGHT HOSPITAL

As Majory and Marjolaine are leaveing the hospital in Tki's car, Henschman's car crashes into a pillar in front of the emergency doors. He comes out of it, barely able to walk. A male nurse sees him.

male nurse

Jesus! Get a stretcher! Now!

Henschman walks toward the nurse and collapses in his arms.

Male nurse

You're gonna be OK buddy

henschman

Did two women and an Asian come here earlier?

Male Nurse

Ah, yeah, I think. The cops are with them.

henchamn

(smiling)

Thank you.

Henschman strikes the nurse's throat with his fingers, choking him. Other nurses arrive with a stretcher.

HENsCHMAN

Quick, this man needs medical attention.

Confused, the other nurses come to the rescue of the man, as Henschman staggers inside the hospital.

int. night hospital

Henschman makes his way into a hospital corridor. He grabs a needle and a small bottle on a tray, he prepares an injection and injects himself quickly in the shoulder. He starts feeling better and walking straighter. Coming up to a fire alarm, he pulls it.

Nuses start running around. The receptionist leaves er post and starts telling people to calmly get to the exits. Henschman gets behind the reception desk. He gets the number of the room where Taki is. He starts walking away. The receptionist is coming back to her post.

receptionist

Hey, what hte hell are you doing.

Henschman turns around and injects her with the same thing he injected himself.

RECEPTIONIST

Hey! Wat the...?

She falls to the floor. Henschman leaves.

He turns a corner and sees two cops guarding Taki's room,

A voice comes on the cops' radios.

police chief

Calling all units. Two caucasian women have just escaped police custody. in St-Andrews Hospital. In need of all units to apprehend them! Code 75.

The cops look at each other for a moment, then leave their guard post running. They pass by Henschman, who goes in the room, after making sure no one else was around.

int. night taki's room

The room is full of beeping medical apparati. The window is open. Henschman comes closer to Taki, who is unconscious. He removes Taki's oxygen mask and grabs a pillow, then puts it on Taki's mouth. The instruments start beeping faster. Suddenly a nurse comes in, looking at her wooden notepad, startling Henschman, who turns around, putting the pillow behind his back.

nurse

(still looking at her forms)

Mister Mashitomi? Don't worry it was all just a false alarm. they're looking into it right n...

She lifts her head from her pad, sees Henschman's disfigured and bloated face (from the glass shards and the falls). She screams and hits him with her wooden pad. Henschman falls over the bed and out the opened window, still grabbing the pillow.

ext. night outside taki's window

Henschman falls on a tree under the window, breaks every branch, and then falls on a car, trying to break his fall with the pillow. The car alarm goes off.

The nurse goes out the window, as Henschman gets up a little slower than previous times and starts walking away from the hospital. There's a branch sticking out of his left eye. He smiles at a passing old lady on the street. The lady is left speechless.

dissolve

ext. day paris, texas

A car comes to a stop in front of a little cafe. Marjolaine and Marjory come out of it, wearing sunglasses. Marjory seems pissed.

Marjory

I'm just saying, had I known what you ment by Paris, I would've taken my chances with the cops back home. Now I'm stuck in the City of lame. And I dont even know what we're doing here.

MARJOLAINE

We're meeting with the only agent on tis file that I think I can trust.

MArjory

You think you can trust? That's reassuring. Let me guess, you and him were lovers...

MARJOLAINE

Hey, I dont sleep with every agent I'm working with!... But, yeah, we were lovers. But that's not why I want to see him.

They walk into the cafe.

INT. DAY CAFE

They get into the cafe and sit at a table.

Marjory

Why then missy, if you dont mind divulging some top secret shit to your pal who kicks asses and saves lives in cars...

MARJOLAINE

OK, we're kinda passed that. I got you a fake passport and some really nice clothes.

Marjory

Oh yeah, that's basically the same as saving a man's life.

MARJOLAINE

Listen, eh, dude, if you want to know for real, I think there might be a connection between this guy and the Mole Taki was talking about.

Marjory

Ok, now that's getting interesting.

They both shut up as the waiter comes to take their order.

MARJOLAINE

I'll have a Perrier.

Waiter

You will not, since we're fresh out of Perrier, for 17 years. Actually, that's since we opened.

MARJOLAINE

Ok, then can I get something to eat?

Waiter

Not if you dont drink anything...

MARJOLAINE

What?

Waiter

House policy

MARJOLAINE

But that makes abolutely no sen...

Marjory

(interjecting)

We'll both have a Corona.

Satisfied, the waiter leaves.

MARJOLAINE

(sulking)

I dont like beer.

Marjory

Well I'm not really fond of it either, but if that's what it takes to blend in. (a beat) You know, for a secret agent, you're not so good at being inconspicuous.

MARJOLAINE

Well, until 6 months ago I was mostly doing just paper work, but then, out of the blue, Paulie got me a promotion, because he said he needed my expertise in computer science. Before I met you, I had never even shot a gun.

MARJORY

What?! So I'm stuck here with a rookie!? That's it, I'm going back to London.

MARJOLAINE

Hey, before that I'd been working at the sevice for 8 years!

MARJORY

Yeah doing geek stuff!

MARJOLAINE

Well, I dont know if you noticed, but it's geek stuff that saved us a couple of times, and it's geek stuff that's probably gonna save us all!

MARJORY

(a little too loud)

Yeah! Well, I want a gun!

MArjory

(Noticing someone at the door of the cafe)

Shhh, quiet, our man is coming.

A handsome mustachioed latino man comes in the cafe, and notices rhe two women. Marjory turns around to peek.

MARJOLAINE

Hey, dont do that! We're trying to be discreet.

MARJORY

(impressed)

Wow, you sure know how to pick'em. I usually don't like mustaches, but I'll make an exception.

MARJOLAINE

(softly)

I didn't "pick" him, it just sorta happened.(Louder, looking at the man and getting up) Hey, Manuel, how are you?

Manuel

Who is this?

Marjory

(simling seductively, getting up)

Hi, hi hello, I'm Marjory.

Manuel

Hi, I'm obviously Manuel. (to Marjolaine) Why is this woman here and why does she have the same name as you?

MARJOLAINE

It's not the same name.

Marjory

No it's not. Really, no.

MARJOLAINE

She knows a lot. She could be targetted and I don't even trust the service or the cops right now. (a beat) Plus, she's kinda been helping a little.

Marjory turns her head slowly from Manuel to Marjolaine, her smile disappearing from her face, eyes widening.

Marjory

Wow. A little. (sarcastically) Thank. You. I do what I can.

MARJOLAINE

(smiling, trying to discard Marjory's attitude)

Well, you sure do Marjory, with your lack of experience, it's acceptable.

Marjory

(trying to keep her voice down)

Stop right there missy, I saved your friend's life and..

MARJOLAINE

Oh here we go again. Why dont you say you're a hero while..

As the two women are talking at the same time, Manuel has pulled up a chair.

Manuel

(shushing them as quietly as possible, as he sits down)

Stop it! Why am I here?! I'm trying to conduct an operation and people here talk a lot and they're starting to wonder what I'm doing with to crazy women from out of town who act like Cagney and Lacey!!

The two women stop talking.

MARJOLAINE

Sorry, Manuel, you're right. We are here to warn you, and also to get some info.

Manuel is taken aback.

Manuel

What do you mean warn me?

MARJOLAINE

We have reason to believe that an organisation is after a file that lists every deep undercover agent in every secret service in the world, in order to sell the information to the organisations they are spying on.

Manuel

What?! How do you know this file exists?

MArjory

(trying to sound as intense and spyish as the two others)

We have it. t's in a lipstick case.

Marjory signs to Marjory to stop talking. Manuel turns to Marjolaine.

Manuel

Is that true? You have it?

MARJOLAINE

(after a pause)

Yes, but...

Manuel

Can I see it? It has, everyone?

MARJOLAINE

Well, it has a lot...

Manuel

Oh, please gimme a peek. You have no idea what this could mean to my superiors. It could mean that I would finally leave this shit hole

Marjory

I know right? Shit hole! (looking at Marjolaine). Told ya!

MARJOLAINE

Listen Manuel, it's thousands of people. Do you realize how many could die?

Manuel's eyes are shining. He is more and more impatient.

Manuel

Oh come on, Marjo. It's what every agency dreams of.

MARJOLAINE

Oh my god, you like this? You would want this to happen?

Manuel

Well, obviously, it's either them or us, right...?

The waiter brings the Coronas, and looks at Manuel.

Waiter

And for you sir, the usual?

Manuel nods to the waiter. Suddenly, everyone in the cafe pulls out a gun.

MARJOLAINE

(looking around)

Man I hate guns.

MAnuel

Sorry dear, hand over the file. It's for our survival. Both of us.

Marjory

(smiling nervously)

And me too, right? My survival?

Marjolaine goes to pull out the lipstick drive from her purse.

Manuel

Oh, by the way, what was the information you wanted?

MARJOLAINE

Really? Now? We were looking for a guy named the Mole.

Manuel

The Mole?

Marjory

No, the Mole, like the sauce.

Waiter

The Mole? I know that guy, he hangs out in the love69 chat rooms on IRC.

Everyone in the bar

IRC?!

waiter

What? I like it. It's still veery user-friendly.

MARJOLAINE

(turning to the waiter)

Soooo. how do we get in touch with him?

Waiter

Him? It's a woman, man. What you think I'm weird?

Marjory

Well, not neccessarily in that way, but who doesn't have at least generic French sparkling water in a cafe? It says cafe in front, in French! And no Perrier!

Waiter

Hey lady, I've got a gun and you're getting on my nerves! So...

Marjory

(interrupting him)

Oh, you think you know what is supposed to be served in this kind of establishment? I've a actually BEEN to a cafe in the REAL Paris you moron. And...

MAnuel

Enough! Seriously, Marjo, how do you tolerate this bitch?

Marjory

What? And I thought you were handsome.

Manuel

Shut up!

MARJOLAINE

If you want to know Manny, I like this bitch.

Marjory smiles at Marjolaine.

MARJOLAINE

Plus I'm trying to protect her.

Henschman

And you're not doing a very good job at it.

Everyone looks toward the door. Henschman and his ten or so underlings dressed in military gear (not camouflage) are pointing their guns at everyone in the cafe. The Henschman is badly bruised, using a cane, and has an eye patch.

Everyone with a gun in the cafe points it at the intruders. Henschman lifts his arm.

Henschman

Epepepepep! Please, gentlemen, and ladies. I know you want to believe that you could shoot us all, but know this....

Before he can finish, an inexperienced underling accidentally pulls his trigger and kills a man in the bar. Everyone starts shooting. Henschman looks at the underling, who looks back at him, guiltily scared.

Henshcman

I hate being interrupted!

Manuel

(to the two women)

Come on!

Marjory, Manuel and Marjolaine jump over the bar as bullets are flying around their heads.

MARJOLAINE

How the hell did he find us? No one else knows where we are!

Marjory looks at marjolaine, with a sorry look on her face.

Marjory

Em...

MARJOLAINE

What...?

Marjory

Well, bare with me here. I might, and I say might, have sent a text to a colleague to tell her where I was going.

Marjolaine and Manuel

Whaaat!?

MARJOLAINE

You, texted, a colleague?!

MARJORY

Carol, yeaaah...Dude, I thought I was going back to Paris! Wanted to make that slut jealous! I didn't know THEY would notice!

The shooting has stopped. Everyone in the cafe is dead, except for Henschman and the three behind the bar.

Henschman

You can come out now.

MARJOLAINE

(FIrst louder to Henschman, then softer to Marjory)

Dream on, you crazy man! Wait a minute. Why, do they know, that, you know it was, in Texas?

Marjory

(starting to feel guilty)

Well, I was mad. You said Paris and then we're in this fucking hole!

Henschman starts getting closer to the bar.

MARJOLAINE

(after a pause, baffled and a a loss)

You, you sent a second text to specify that it was not Paris, France...

MARJORY

Well, what was I supposed to do? Lie?!

MARJOLAINE

Oh I dont know, you could have just shut your mouth about it?!

Marjory

But I didn't say a word! It was a text!

MARJOLAINE

Aaaaaargh!!!

Marjolaine jumps on Marjory, and their heads peak from the side of the bar as they fall on Manuel.

MANUEL

Heeeey!

Henschman hits Marjolaine unconscious with a blow to the back of the head.

Marjory

Hey, what the! I was talking to her!

hesnchman

(frustrated, pointing his gun at both Manuel and Marjory)

Shut up! Just, shut up and get the hell up!

Marjory and Manuel get up.

Manuel

Sir, please, you have to let this woman go. You have what you want.

Marjory

Yeah, that's right. Thanks Manuel. (She smiles at him)

Manuel

And she knows nothing. And even if she knew anything, she is not intelligent enough to know what to do with it.

The expression on Marjory's face changes.

Marjory

(through her teeth)

Thank you, Manuel.

Henschman smiles sadistically.

Henschman

You're right, I do have what I want.

Henschamn shoots Manuel, who falls to the floor, dead.

MArjory

Aaaah! No! No! Why did you do that! He was so beautiful, come on! You'Re killing the beauty of the world. Such a beautiful douche!

She cries. More underlings come inside the cafe.

Henschman

Shut up! Shut up! Shut your freaking mouth! I should just shoot you!

Marjory tries to stop crying.

HENSHCMAN

(to the underlings)

Take them to the chopper!

They all leave.

EXT. DAY in front of the cafe

Marjory is pushed into a jeep as Marjolaine is carried out. A family car stops in front of the cafe as the others are leaving. A fat man comes out of the car.

TOurist

(sarcastically)

Yeah honey, sure, I'll ask them. Not that it's going to do any good since I know exactly where to go.

He goes in the cafe.

int. day cafe

The tourist comes into the cafe, looking at a map.

tourist

Hey I need to use your toilet. And can you tell me where the museum of cow bones is...?

He sees the state of things, then leaves slowly, walking backwards, then turns arond and runs to his car.

ext. day jeep

Henschman grabs the lipstick flash drive from Marjolaine's purse. He then calls Paulie on the radio.

Henschman

We have them sir. They had the file with them.

INT DAY BOSS'S LAIR

Paulie is sitting at the bosse's desk, feet up on the desk, smoking a cigar.

Paulie

Good. Bring them to me unharmed.

ext. day jeep

Henschman

Even the fat one? She doesn't really count, does she?

Marjory takes offense and mouthes "fat one?".

INT. day BOSS' MANSION/LAIR

Paulie

No! No harm to any of them. Do you hear me?

EXT. DAY JEEP

Henschman

(begrudgingly)

Yes sir...(he turns off the radio) prick.

Marjory is smiling again. Henschman looks angrily at her, then turns around to see the front of the jeep.

int. day boss' mansion/lair

The boss bursts into his office, raging. Paulie, drops his feet to the ground.

boss

What the fuck are you doing, in here, using MY fucking phone?

The Boss picks up a letter opener that's lying on the desk. He advances on Paulie, who gets up.

boss

(pointing the letter opener at Paulie)

Tell me one reason why I shoudn't slit your fucking throat right now?!

PAULIE

(staying composed, still smoking the cigar)

Relax, boss, we've ot them, and the file too.

The expression on the boss' face relaxes.

boss

(Pleasantly surprised)

What?! Really! Oh well then that changes everything. Oh Paulie, I knew you wouldn't let me down, you beautiful piece os garbage. I could kiss you!

He kisses Paulie on the mouth. Paulie escapes from the boss's grip. He goes to a large screen on the wall showing a beeping red dot.

PAULIE

Em, Ok, yeah, well, so here on this screen we can folow them as they are getting closer to our position.

boss

How long?

PAULIE

Oh it shouldn't be more than an hour.

Boss

(smirking)

Then get everything ready.

EXT. DAY jeep

driver

Mr. Henschman? We're arriving at the chopper sir.

Marjory tries not to laugh.

Marjory

Your name is, Henchman? pffrt. Well this keeps getting better and better.

Henschman

(looking at Marjory, a little frustrated)

It's Austrian! It's pronounced Henschmaaan. And it's spelled with S-C-H.

MARJORY

(still trying not to laugh)

Yeah, of course, that's right. Anyway, you're in the righ line of work. Good on you dude!

Henschamn does not reply and just broods.

ext. day park where a chopper has landed

The underlings carry Marjolaine and drag Marjory into the chopper. Marjory bumps her head on the metal behind her as she is seated.

MARJORY

Ouch! Be careful! You morons.

Henschman

Stop! Just stop! I dont know exactly who you are, or what you are doing here, but you dont seem very important. So I could just as well kill you.

marjory

Well why dont you? It'll be more fun than having to look at your disfigured face the whole way to wherever it is we are going.

Henschman

Hey your stupid friend did this!

Marjory

woah, she's not my friend. Well, not that close anyway. I just met her, and after the way she talked to me back there...

Henschman

(annoyed)

I.Dont.Care.

Marjory

(making a gesture with her hand to tell Henschman to close his mouth)

Then. Dont. Talk.

They both recline on their seats. The chopper takes off. Marjolaine slowly wakes up. Marjory leans towards her.

Marjory

Hey hun, how are you doin'? Did that blow on the head erase some of your recent memory?

MARJOLAINE

(looking around)

Where's Manuel?

Marjory

Oh you poor thing, he's, gone. Such a waste, but he was kind of a jerk, wasn't he?

MARJOLAINE

(looking at Henschman)

Yeah well, someone's gonna pay.

int. day dark apartment

A monitor follows the position of an object on the screen. A camera feed is filming the chopper from the air. Fingers are moving a videogame controller.

int. day chopper

The pilot sudenly doesn't have control of the chopper.

pilot

Sir? There's something wrong with the commands?

henschman

What the hell are you saying? Drive god damn it!

Pilot

I...I can't

The chopper stars diving. Henschman moves to the front, trying to take control. Marjolaine looks at what is happening in front. Marjory looks out the window, sees a drone with a banner behind it, on which "You should jump" is written. Marjory is puzzled. The drone turns around, showing the other side of the banner, which reads "NOW!" Obeying the drone, she grabs Marjolaine and pulls her to jump. She holds back. Henschman sees what is happening in the back.

MARJOLAINE

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Marjory

Obeying the drone!

She pulls on Marjolaine's arm and she is thrusted forward as the chopper tilts to the right. The two women are ejected out, but Henschman grabs Marjolaine at the last second The three are hanging from the right side of the chopper.

MARJORY

Aaaaaah, the drone was wrooooong!!!!

INT. DAY APARTMENT

The monitor shows a mesasge "Are you sure? Y/N". A finger pushes Y.

int. day chopper

The hole hull is electrified. The pilot loses consciousness. Henschman, loses his grip on the women and the lipstick cas flash drive fals out of his coat pocket. As Marjolaine falls she sees the lipstick drive and grabs it at it passes her. The girls fall in a lake in the middle of a park. The chopper goes to crash somewhere further, and explodes.

ext. day park

The two women get out of the lake, drenched but alive. A cell phone rings close by. A young man selling ice cream picks up his phone and answers.

Teenager

Hello? Uh, ok... Ladies? Are you Marge?

The women look at him, then at each other, then at the boy.

both

yeah?

Teenager

It's for you.

They get closer to him.

Marjory

(to Marjolaine)

It's probably more for you. (turning to the ice cream guy) Hey do you have anything with cookie dough? Just, anything.

Marjolaine picks up the phone.

MARJOLAINE

Hello?

INT. DAY APARTMENT

The mole

Hello Marjolaine. This is the Mole.

EXT. DAY PARK

MARJOLAINE

(surprised, but quickly gathering her thoughts)

...Hi, how did you know how to find us?

INT. DAY APARTMENT

mole

I have my ways. Get to 17778 Sunset Boulevard in twenty minutes, if you want a chance to survive this.

EXT. DAY PARK

MARJOLAINE

But, hey, how do I get...? He hung up. Damn it, Sunset boulevard. How do we get there in twenty minutes?

teenager

Um, it's actually pretty close. Like ten minutes that way.

MARJOLAINE

Wait a second, where the fuck are we?

MArjory

Attagirl!

Teenager

You're in LA, miss.

MARJORY

L.A.? You mean we,re in fucking Los angeles? ANd not, like, Los Angeles Montana or what ever. Real Los Angeles California?!

The teenager nods. Marjory smiles.

MARJORY

Well it'S abou fucking time1

ext. Day Sunset BOulevard

The two women are running on Sunset boulevard, Marjory, eating an ice cream cone, is trying to catch up.

Marjory

Wait, just, a minute, can't, run, anymore...

MARJOLAINE

(pissed)

Come on! We only have two minutes left! Why d'you have to buy some fucking ice cream?!

MArjory

Hmm, you know, swearing is best when it's used sparingly. Sprinkled like salt.

MARJOLAINE

Oh shut your fucking Häagen Dasz mouth! What's the address here?

MARJORY

16995. And it's actually Ben and Jerry's...

A toy soldier with a parachute falls from the sky, a little further down the street. Marjory sees it.

Marjory

Oh look, could that be a message from that nerd?

MARJOLAINE

(as she is walking toward the toy)

Don't insult nerds. Nerds are the only reason douche bags can finish their douchy missions. We're what stands between them and certain death.

Marory

Oh my god, you're such a nerd, nerd! But I love you. Can't wait till you stand between me and certain death.

Marjolaine picks up the toy soldier. She inspects it some more.

MARJOLAINE

There's nothing there.

Marjory

What? What do you mean?! Isn't it some kind of geeky thingy?

MARJOLAINE

No, it,s just that, a toy soldier with a parachute.

Marjory

What about the parachute? Is there anything on the parachute.

Marjolaine inspects the parachute. On the flip side, something is written. Throw me.

MARJOLAINE

(to herself)

Throw me?

A car bursts onto the street. In it is Henschman. Some of his hair is burnt off. The girls start running. Marjory is still holding her ice cream cone. Henschamn yells from inside the car.

Marjory

(screaming)

Was there anything on the chute?

MARJOLAINE

It says "throw me".

Marjory

Then throw it god damn it!

Marjolaine throws the parachute behind her. It lands on Marjory's face. She shoves it off, and in the process loses her ice cream scoop.

Marjory

Oh look what you've made me do!

MARJOLAINE

I did what you said you idiot!

MARJORY

Oh I'm not the idiot here, you idiot!

The car goes faster than the ladies, turns and breaks in front of them. The women stop running. Henschman comes out and walks toward the ladies.

Henschman

There's nowhere to run, ladies. Now, hand over the drive.

Marjory

I'm very angry, I lost my ice cream because of you!

Henschman

Arrgh I've had it with you. Good bye!

He lifts his gun to shoot Marjory.

MArjolaine

No!

She throws the toy soldier at Henschman. As it hits him, it explodes. The gun moves and shoots Marjory's arm. Henschman and Marjory fall to the floor. Marjolaine runs to Marjory.

MARJOLAINE

Oh my God! Ar you all right?

Marjory

(in pain, but smiling)

You stood between me and certain death...

A limousine pulls up to the girls. The door opens and a very serious looking bonde woman, almost naziesque, leans out.

mantis

(in a German accent)

Ladies, the Mole would like to speak to you.

MARJOLAINE

She needs medical attention.

Mantis

All will be taken care of.

The women get in the car. The limousine drives away. After a time, Henschamn gets back up into frame, slower than the previous time (scary tataaaam! music, but lower, slower). Most of his hair is burned off and he is covered in ashes and blood. He looks angrily as the car drives away. He starts smiling. He is missing many teeth.

ext. day the Mole's mansion

The limousine passes a guarded gate and goes up a sinuous road to the mansion.

int. day limousine

Marjory's arm is patched up. She has a drink in hand.

MARJORY

(slurring)

That's so nice of you to have given me this drink. And those pills from earlier... wooooooow!

She takes a long noisy sip.

Mantis

A word of advice: when you meet the Mole, you should treat him with the utmost respect. He is a genious and is belittling himself by helping you little girls with your little running around.

MArjory

Earliaar. Aaaaaarliah... I cant say it without a British accent, why is that? (She looks outside at the mansion) Wait, is this real?

MARJOLAINE

Yes, it's real. All too real. Listen lady.

Mantis

Mantis.

MARJOLAINE

Mantis?

Marjory

Maaaanntis! Beware the maaaaaaaantis! (she moves her arms as a preying mantis)

Mantis

It's my family name and you will respect it!

She slaps her hand on the leather seat. The two women sit back up in their seats, not moving for a beat.

MARJOLAINE

Listen, I dont care what your name is. All I know is that your boss is cooperating with terrorists, and he is therefore guilty.

mantis

Well, first, he's very sorry about that. Second, technically,he was helping your friend Paulie, who is a secret agent. And he is therefore helping the government.

MARJOLAINE

Paulie is a corrupt agent, so it doesn't count.

Marjory

(still slurring)

Yeah it doesn't count, so go eat someone else's head, Mantis.

MARJOLAINE

Marjory!

Marjory

Whaat? She started it!

mantis

In any case, we are here. Remember what I told you. I'll be watching.

The limousine goes into an underground garage. All three get out of the car and go into an elevator.

int. day elevator

The three women, accompanied by guards, are awkwardly looking around, as muzak is playing on a speaker.

eleveator voice

Seventh floor. Going down.

The three women get out of the elevator.

int. day lair observatory

They are in a large dark room with a dome-shaped metal ceiling. Armed guards are posted in every area of the room. Everywhere, computers are beeping and showing graphs and algorythms. On either side of the room, very large aquariums emanate an eery blueish light, as exotic fish swim in it. At the back of the room, a large armchair on wheels is turned toward a large screen on which information is shown. The girls are taken to a couch in front of the big screen. Marjory sits down. Marjolaine remains standing.

The Mole

Welcome to my lair!

Marjory and Marjolaine look in the direction of the chair to see the Mole revealing himself to them. In the chair is a dark skinned teenager with a little bit of hair under the nose.

The MOLE

I'm glad you could make it.

MArjory

(holding back a laugh, still feeling the effects of the pills)

Oh my god, you're like twelve.

THe mole

(somewhat insulted)

I'm fifteen!

marjory

(puzzled, looking back at Marjolaine)

Hey! Didn't the guy at the cafe told us he was a girl.

Marjolaine agrees.

THE MOLE

My older sister sometimes uses my pseudonym, and that is soo, none of your business. So now I will tell you...

MARJOLAINE

Why did you bring us here?

the mole

I'm talking! (tries, unsuccessfully, to adopt a cool villain attitude). Well, as you may suspect, it sometimes gets lonely at the top. And, I think you deserved some down time, after all you've been through.

MARJOLAINE

We can't rest until the people who are after this file are put behind bars.

Marjory

Yeah! (a beat) Wait, no, I could use some down time.

the mole

You're friend is right, you should let this go and focus on relaxing now. (he gets up and goes to a mini-fridge, and takes out an energy drink). Have a drink, sit down and relax. Everything will unfold as it should.

MARJOLAINE

I am not sitting down.

the mole

That was not a suggestion.

He gives a sign to the guards. They point their guns at Marjolaine. She reluctantly sits down, quietly.

the mole

You see, we have e few options here. I know the content of the file, because I encrypted it so that no one, I thought, would be able to read it, except me. By the way, your Asian friend is very good.

Marjory

I know

MARJOLAINE

Um, he's actually my friend. You don't know him at all.

MArjory

Oh, how rude! I saved his life and played with his insides, so I think we got pretty close pretty quickly.

MARJOLAINE

(over Marjory)

You dont know what you're saying, and I think you'll get pretty close to my hand in your face pretty soon...

the mole

Quiet! Oh my fucking god! You're unbearable!

Marjory

It's not nice to swear

the mole and Marjolaine

Shut up!

THE MOLE

(after a beat)

Thank you. Moving on. You see, I did this because I thought it was for a good cause. If all the names of all the deep undercover agents in all the agencies were revealed publicly, said agencies would have no choice but to extract them and stop spying on each other. Do you realize what that would mean?

Marjory

A lot of people on retirement plans?

THE MOLE

(give a very intense look at Marjory)

...

Marjory

yeah yeah I know, shut up Marjory, no one wants to hear your thoughts.

MARJOLAINE

No, no, damn you're actually right, Marjory, the machine would have to stop for a while. No more spying. World governments would be completely in the dark as to what the others are doing behind their back.

The mole gives a smile.

THE MOLE

And...?

Marjolaine's face lights up.

MARJOLAINE

They would actually have to start trusting each other...

the mole

(Satisfied, saying the first word in an aproximate French)

Excellent! Great work. Unfortunately, I didn't count on you getting in the way, agent Villedieu.

Marjory turns to Marjolaine

MARJORY

Villedieu? Like the French fat guy?

MARJOLAINE

That's Depardieu. Listen Mole, it's not my fault I intercepted your communication with foreign governments. You shoul've shrouded it more.

The MOle

(a little insulted)

I shrouded it plenty!

The mole comes close to the ladies.

THE MOLE

But that doesn't matter, because you see, the problem is, the person who hired me to do this job has other views.

MARJOLAINE

Let me guess, he wants to blackmail governments into giving him money so he doesn't reveal the names?

THE MOLE

(pouting)

Wow, I'm very impressed. And a little annoyed at you. I didn't picture it going like this in my head. I thought you would listen to me more.

Mantis

I'm listening.

THE MOLE

Yes Miss Mantis, you've always been there for me. You're like the mother I never had because you killed her...

The two women are startled. Mantis comes close to the Mole and embraces him, almost like a lover, but not quite.

The sound of a voice comes on a speaker, and the face of the Boss comes on a monitor.

BOSS

Jimmy? Jimmy what the hell are you doing? You're helping our enemies you little brat. Your mother would be ashamed.

THE MOLE

(angrily at the monitor)

I hate you dad. Mom would have understood. You never understand anything. I hate you!

Marjolaine and Marjory are confused and looking alternately at the monitor and the people talking. Marjolaine makes a sign to Marjory to move toward the elevator, while no one is looking.

boss

Hey they're getting away! Get them you stupid useless guards! What am I paying you for?!

The ladies try to make a run for it, but are caught by the guards. THey sit back down.

Jimmy turns to Mantis.

jimmy

You didi this! You disgusting German bitch. I hate you even more!

mantis

(emotional)

I did it for your own good! My little Jimmy, my beautiful son.!

THE MOLE

You, are NOT, MY MOTHER!

He pushes her and goes to sit on his chair, turns around and starts poounding at the keyboard.

At the same time, The Boss, Paulie and Henschman come through the elevator door. Seeing his son. he shouts at the guard.

BOSS

Stop him you idiots!

The guars turn around and go to the chair. One of them hits the boy off the chair.

boss

Hey that's my son you fucking asshole!

Guard

But you said to...

Boss shoots the guard. Everyone stops moving.

boss

I dont have time for this.

Marjolaine looks at Paulie

MARJOLAINE

Paul, how could you do it?

Paulie

Sorry honey, I've got my views on an Island in the Pacific. Me, a few dozen indigenous women, and coconut water.

MARJORY

Ow that sounds lovely. (awkwardly) Except for the women of course, I'm not, you know, if it were me, it'd be men.

Marjory smiles wakwardly.

Boss

Quiet, all of you!

jimmy

(Getting back up)

Go to hell dad.

boss

You go to hell, son.

Jimmy looks scared.

boss

(smiling sadistically)

Open the dome.

Jimmy

No.! No dad please, not the dome! Not the doooooome!

Mantis is scare d for the boy and shakes her head wording "no!". Guards push buttons and the metal dome above their heads starts opening. Rays of sunshine are getting closer to Jimmy as guards are holding him still. He tries to push himself away from the sun rays.

THE MOLE

(looking at Marjory)

No , no help, help I'm melting! I'M MEEEELLTIIIIIIIINNNGG!!

He doesn't melt but just collapses to the floor.

MARJORY

(to one of the guards)

This is both painful and hilarious.

The boss, after a look of contempt to his son, turns around toward the screen. He punches a code. The screen splits into eight smaller ones, each with the head of a government on it. USA, Canada, Russia, Israel, Syria, France, Germany, Iran.

Boss

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Shall we begin?

Canadian Prime Minister

Yes, let's get this over with.

Marjolaine looks at the Canadian prime minister, disappointed.

Marjolaine

But sir, I thought we didn't negociate with terrorists.

CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER

I'm sorry agent, but you've got us confused with the US.

us president

Yes, and ever since we've started binge-watching House of Cards, we've decided that we're going to do whatever we feel. (he breaks the fourth wall and talks to an imagiary audience). Because all's well and good in love and war.

MARJOLAINE

Sir, with all due respect, are you breaking through an imaginary fourth wal?

US PRESIDENT

What? No! Not at all! Did you see that? I thought no one could see me when I did that.

US president looks outside the frame at his assistants.

US PRESIDENT

What? You guys can see me do that? But why didn't you tell me?

Boss

OK, I think you've had your fun, my friends. Now's the time to listen. I am requesting a trillion dollars from your combined weealth within 48 hours. Otherwise I reveal the names of the agents to every government except one.

French president

Except one? Why?

boss

Yeah, just for kicks. One of you will be kept in the dark.

Israeli prime Minister

But which one?

boss

Oh, I haven't decided yet.

RUssian president

But a trillion dollars, that's impossible to get in...

boss

(interrupting)

I dont care how you do it, just have it transferred to the account number I sent you.

Marjory's face lights up.

MARJORY

11-345-67-ex-55

boss

(puzzled)

What? How can you know that?

MARJORY

Well, it was in the file, wasn't it? Right next to the name of the bank in the Caiman Islands. That wasn't very hard.

MARJOLAINE

(looking wide eyed at Marjory)

Well I'm impressed.

boss

Ok, someone kill her.

MARJOLAINE

No!

She tries to get to her but a guard points a gun at her. She stops. Paulie observes the scene.

Paulie

I'm sorry, sir, but dont you think there has been enough bloodshed? You're about to get what you want, I think you can leave that poor woman alone. She can't do anything with that account number, unless se has the access code.

MARJORY

Oh I hope it's not the same code he punched on the keyboard right there, cause if it'S also 301572, then yeah, I got that too.

Paulie turns angrily to Marjory.

Paulie

Holy shit woman! Can't you shut up for once in your life!? I'm trying to save you.

marjory

(sad, almost crying)

But I dont know how!

Boss

(annoyed)

Kill him.

A guard shoots Paulie in the back. He falls to the floor.

MARJORY

You bastard! he was into me, I could feel it.

MARJOLAINE

You son of a bitch! You'll pay for that.

Marjolaine tries to losen the guards' grip again, but one of them hits her in the stomach.

MARJORY

Oh no you didn't, you fucking asshole, Leave my friend alone!

The boss gestures to the guards.

boss

Kill that secretary once and for all.

Marjolaine raises her head.

MARJOLAINE

Legal secretary.

Marjolaine grabs the guard's machine gun and pulls. He starts shooting and shoots another guard in te process. Marolaine headbumps him. He loses his grip on his gun and Marjolaine takes it. She jumps on Marjory and both of them fall behind the couch.

BOSS

Get them!

The remainng guards start shooting. Marjory is panicking.

MARJORY

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! The pills definitely wore off...

Marjolaine

Marjory, do you know How to use a gun?

Marjory

Probably?

MARJOLAINE

OK good enough. I'm gonna need you to use this one while I try to figure out how to contact the police.

MARJORY

Why dont you ask your prime minister? He's right th...

Marjolaine and Marjory look at the monitor where the prime minister was. He is leaving hastily with his body guards, looking scared. Other World leader who were on screen have left, and some are stayig to see the show.

MARJOLAINE

Looks like we're on our own! Now dude, start shooting!

Marjolaine crawls on the floor as Marjory lifts the machine gun from behind the couch and shoots randomly. The boss looks angrily at Henschman, who is enjoying the action.

boss

What are you standing there for, you moron Get after those whores!

As Henschman starts going after the girls, he looks at Mantis who gives him a wink. He winks back. Jimmy sees this and his muscles tense. He runs towards Henschman.

jimmy

Noooooooo!

Jimmy jumps on Henschman, landing on his back and grabbing his head, neck and hair. They twirl around for a while and both fall on an aquarium, breaking it. Water and exotic fish spread everywhere on the floor. Some guards slip on the slippery fish and shoot in the air, cracking the glass ceiling. It breaks more and more.

Marjolaine has reached a terminal and is pounding away, as bullets fly around her. She suddenly looks up as the ceiling finally gives way. She turns to Marjory, who is still shooting at the guards, not hitting any of them, but keeping them at a safe distance.

Marjolaine

Marjory! Get under something!

As Marjory stops shooting to look at Marjolaine, who points to the breaking ceiling, a guard seizes the opportunity and starts running towards the blonde. She looks up where Marjolaine is pointins and, startled, she jumps under a nearby desk as the guard goes to jump on her. He misses her and falls to the floor. As he tries to get back up and turns around to look where Marjory went, he sees her, pointing up as she looks at him, with a sorry look on her face.

The glass falls on the guard, not killing him but knocking him unconscious.

The boss and everyone who wasn't previously knocked-out has also gone to hide under something.

As Marjolaine is hiding under the desk on top of which is the computer she had been working on, she still types, only her hands coming out from under the desk. Shards of glass brush agains her forearms.

marjolaine

(barely twitching)

Ouch!

As glass gontinues to fall, it breaks the other aquarium, and also cuts some electrical wires, that begin dancing around, getting closer to the water. As she has emerged from under the desk and is finishing her typing, Marjolaine sees one wire falling toward a puddle of water that covers the area where she and Marjory are. She looks at her screen, where there is a question: Execute program? Y/N She presses Y and jumps on the desk.

Marjolaine

Marge, jump on something!

Marjory has come out from under her desk and resumed shooting at the guards.

marjory

(annoyed, then seeing the electical wire falling in the water)

Don't call me thaAAAAAAAA...!

Things explode and short circuit. Smoke fills the air. As the smoke dissipates, Henschman gets up into frame, much more slowly than the prevous times. (scary tataaaam! music, but quieter, softer, slower). Smoke is coming out from his clothes and from under his shirt collar. He drops Jimmy who was still on his back.

Jimmy

(Falling to the floor, eyes still closed, in pain)

Mommy! Mommy!

The boss opens his eyes. Mantis is lying on top of him. He pushes her away.

BOSS

Get off of me, succubitch!

mantis

(half conscious, eyes barely opened, as speaking to someone else)

Oh mein liebe, ich waster dein grosse schwantz...

Marjolaine crawls to the floor, reaching Marjory.

MARJOLAINE

(coughing)

Are you OK?

MARJORY

(also coughing)

I'm conscious, if that's what you mean.

MARJOLAINE

(Looking to an open door)

Let's get out of here.

Henschman raises his gun at them.

HENsCHMAN

(he sounds like he has a bad cold. The electric shock has fried his vocal chords)

Tststst...Just a minute.

Marjolaine and Marjory turn around. They get scared.

henschman

(looking satisfied)

That's more like it.

He goes to pull the trigger. A gunshot. Henschman falls to the floor. Paulie lowers his gun. The girls look at him

Paulie

(looking at Marjolaine)

I'm sorry.

MARJOLAINE

For what?

Paulie

For everything.

MARJORY

Oh that doesn't even begin to cover it, baby! You've got a lot of amends to,... well to make amends for!

paulie

I'll do whatever I can. Beginning with...

Paulie stops talking and falls down on the floor. The boss is right behind him, a wooden plank in his hand.

MARJORY

Man, stop hitting the cute ones!

The boss takes Paulie's gun and advances toward the two girls. he grabs Marjory by the hair and lifts her up to her knees.

MARJORY

Ow! OOOOOOW! Hey those are not, extensions!

The boss turns to Marjolaine.

BOSS

OK, now let's take it back from the top. Now that you've broken my material and I can't send the file anymore. And now that my idiot son is out of order and out of my will, you, missy, are going to make everything better.

MARJOLAINE

What do you want me to do?

BOSS

Well, for starters, you're gonna take that little smart phone of yours and send the file to the individuals I tell you to. (casually) Otherwise, I kill your friend.

Marjory looks to the boss, inquisitively.

MARJOLAINE

So let me get this straight: you want me to use my cell phone to send the names of undercover secret agents to individuals who are paying you money to get them.

BOSS

Yeah, obviously! I mean it's not gonna be a trillion but still, It'll be good money.

MARJOLAINE

I see. And those individuals, are they by any chance high ranking members of criminal organisations?

Marjory is beginning to understand.

BOSS

W...did you hit your head too hard? Do you think I'm gonna sell them to the Church. (beat) Oh, wait, Im actually selling some of them to the Church, but yeah you pinhead, they're pretty much criminal organisations all of them.

MARJOLAINE

And those undercover agents' names, did you obtain them legally?

boss

Holy smokes woman, of course not! None of this is legal. I'm a criminal. Everybody here is guilty of all sorts of... wait a minute, why are you asking me all this?

Marjolaine smiles. Marjory smiles.

MARJOLAINE

That's why.

She presses a button on her cell phone. Every monitor in the room replays the last few lines of what the boss has been saying. The boss looks around, confused. Taking advantage of this, Marjory tries to pick up something on the floor.

the boss

What the hell is this?

MARJOLAINE

Oh that? It's just someting that's being transmitted via satellite to every police station in the greater Los Angeles area.

Police sirens in the distance. The Boss suddenly understands. Marjory grabs the wooden plank te Boss had dropped. The Boss raises his gun, pointing it at Marjolaine.

BOSS

You fucking nerd!

Marjolaine and Marjory look at each oter.

MARJOLAINE

Bust a move.

As the Boss goes to pull the trigger, marjory hits him on the face with the plank

BOSS

(grabbing his nose)

AOOOOOWWWW! YOu broke my nose, you worthless piece of shit!

Marjory starts hitting him again and again.

MARJORY

(as she hits him)

Aaaaaaaargh! Stop! Mistreating! Us! Nerds! Are! Good! And! I! Have! Value!

Cops burst into the room.

Cop

Miss, please drop your weapon and step away from the fat man!

MARJORY

(Holding her badge up)

It's ok, she's with me!

Marjory hits the Boss one more time. He falls on the floor. The cops start arresting criminals.

Fade out

New casters from various news outlets announcing the events following the showdown.

cnn

... tThe infaous "Boss" of the Los Angeles crime gang was arrested today on charges of conspiracy, high treason, possession and attempt to sell state secrets ad gangsterism.

intercut various news outlets

Msnbc

The US Senate has opened an inquiry regarding allegations of the President's implication in the recently revealed...

Radio-Canada

Le Premier Ministre du Canada vient de quitter son poste à la suite de révélations concernant sa possible collaboration avec un groupe terroriste...

Israeli news outlet

Something in Yddish

Russian news network

Something in Russian

fox news' Bill o'reily

This an utter and complete disgrace! My stomach is turning! (rambles on)

int day a television studio

Ellen is talking altenatively to the camera and the audience.

ELLEN

We are very lucky to have here with us today the dynamic duo responsible for the arrest and prosecution of the highest members of the biggest Los Angeles criminal organisation AND several political leaders around the world, and just, you know, saving the planet. Would you please give i u for Marjo and Marge.

The audience, mostly women, goes crazy as the girls walk on set, well dressed, waving at the audience and the host. They embrace Ellen. The applause dies down.

Ellen

(looking at Marge)

Wow, so I see that you're still wearing the medal of honor that the Mayor of LA awarded you a few weeks ago.

MARJORY

Yes Ellen, and it actually is Marjory. I mean, what am I, a carton character? Hahaaaaa...

Fake laughter alla round. Ellen's laugh turns into a sigh as she turns to Marjolaine.

Ellen

And Marjolaine? Am I saing this rght, or is it the name of a French Canadian cartoon character?

Audience laughs.

MARJOLAINE

Hahah, no no, it's fine.

ellen

Alright, so tell us in a few words what happened.

A male audience member reaches for the inside pocket of their jacket.

MARJOLAINE

Well, you know, Ellen, I couldn't have done it without Marjory's help, but as you know, we were held up in...

As Marjory looks around, embarassed, she notices a flash in the audience. It's the reflection of a gun that the male audience member, Henschman, has taken out of his jacket. Marjory's eyes widen. Henschman pushes audience members that are in the way, points his gun at Marjolaine and shoots.

henschman

DiiiiiiIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!

Marjory jumps in front of Marjolaine.

MARJORY

Nooooooo!

The bullet ricochets on Marjory's medal of honor. It then hits a spotllight above Henschman. The spotlight falls on his head, knockin him out. The audience panics and everyone runs around. Elen is cowering behind her couch. Security guards go to put Henschman in handcuffs.

Marjolaine walks to Marjory, who is coughing on the floor. Marjoline leans over her.

MARJORY

What are you waiting for? Help me up!

MARJOLAINE

You stood between me and certain death, you stupid girl.

MARJORY

Actually, I was trying to protect Ellen.

MARJOLAINE

I'M so glad you're OK, you fucking moron!

MARJORY

Yeah, that was appropriate.

Marjolaine helps Marory up. Ellen's head comes out from behind her couch. She looks around.

Ellen

So, I guess we'll just, redo that one?

Cut to Black